A few days ago I went through a lithotripsy surgery that allowed my doctor to crush the kidney stone in my left kidney. I’m very thankful that I was able to see the urologist and have the surgery all within a couple weeks. I’m also very grateful for great team of doctors and nurses that went through it all with me. It’s a simple procedure but since I’d never been put under general anesthesia before, I was pretty jittery. They were great and made the whole process “enjoyable”, if that’s possible.
Now I’m home and recovering. Actually my extended weekend is almost at a close. I’ve been laying, sleeping, sitting in this bed for the better part of the last 3 days. At times in a vicodin-induced fog which sounds much more fun than I found it to be.
Now what?
Good question. I’m wondering the same thing.
What I’m finding is I’ve turned into a hypochondriac, or so it seems. I’ve logged and analyzed every symptom, twinge and pain over the past 4 months. I’ve wondered and worried far more than necessary. So now that the issue is resolved, the stone has been crushed and the pieces have been passed… it should be over, right? I REALLY hope so.
Honestly? I’m tired… wait, I’m EXHAUSTED. This medical drama has bled me for every ounce of strength and courage I have within me… and that was in the first month. Since then, I’ve leaned on God for everything. I still am, but my spirit is tired and very weak. I’m tired of pain and tired of not knowing what’s going on in my own body.
I know this bend in the road is yet another opportunity to trust God to encourage and provide for me. But I lack even the strength to hope in this moment. I’m still in some minor – moderate pain. On top of the general recovery from the lithotripsy, I pulled my back getting out of the shower yesterday. That adds another dimension to the myriad of symptoms and pain. Just what I need, right?
So, I’m on the mend… it isn’t pretty but it represents all of life for me right now… nothing for certain but trusting a moment at a time. Please pray for me.
